Catch Me!!

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Love this Quote!!

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd."

-Alexander Pope

10 times when people were wrong about me!!!!

This is what all I have been called by people unknowingly and when they turned out to be wrong:

1) Hispanic by women at International student Services. She thought I was Portuguese.

2) Italian by a an Indian guy who was going to same university as me on our flight to USA.

3) Chinese by a lot many people.

4) Himachali or Pahadi by many ranging from my Kabadiwaala to my teachers.

5) Rajasthani by I dont remember whom!!

6) Gourav (its Gaurav) by many many people.(I hate to see that spelling on my certificates)

7) Very studious guy....many think so!!!

8) Perfectly Sane....again many turn out to be wrong abt this one!!!

10) That I know how to count properly....see this should have been ninth point!!

Being Haryanvi!!

I disappoint a lot many people, by telling them that I am a Haryanvi. I don't have that typical Haryanvi physique which they expect from typical Haryana Boy. So sometime back I gave up on telling that I am from Haryana and would say that I am from Delhi (practically thats true too as I have been in Delhi since I was seven. But than that day this episode happened on a crowded Delhi Transport corporation bus. This guy, who must have been 40 plus was shooting questions at me like a quiz show host...Here's how it went..

Guy: Hello
Me: Hi
Guy: What?!
Me: ehh.. Hello
Guy: Where are u from?

(this question always confuses me, I am never sure what the other person wants to know, is it the place or my educational institution. Whatever I say people are expecting it to be other one and this time was no different!!)

Me: Indraprastha University
Guy: Kaunsi (which) jagah?

(not that guys fault, my university is not that popular!!!..the only university ppl know in Delhi are Delhi University, JNU and AIIMS and one of them is not a university)

Me: Guru Gobind Singh Indraprastha University
Guy: No, I mean which place are you from?
Me: Oh!!!..am from Delhi....
Guy: That everybody says...but nobody is from Delhi..where are u from originally?
Me: Well I was born in Haryana and have been in Delhi since I was seven.
Guy: Then you must say that you are from Haryana!!!
Me: (obviously pissed off at this unwanted advice)..Ok Sir!!Thank you for telling me.


Other scenario that happens when I say that am a haryanvi is this:

Person: Where are u from?
Me: Haryana (with that haryanvi rough accent, in which every 'n' becomes 'annh')
Person: Ha Ha..you dont look like haryanvi's
Me: yeah I know that...(now how should I explain that haryanvi look that he has in mind is that of a haryanvi farmer ho dos a lot of physical work everyday and my family gave up farming, since my grandfather's time.
Person: Are u a jat?
Me: No sir, I am a Brahmin
Person: But are'nt all the people in Haryana Jats.
Me: Most of them but not all!!

But sometimes I have felt that how meaningless these questions are, what difference does it make whether I am from haryana or delhi and If I am a jat or a brahmin...But you get used to these questions.

But here are the things that come to me when I say I am from Haryana and I love then all.....

1) Haryana Roadways and their drivers

Everything is shaky in that bus except the engine. And how those drivers manage to run those buses on those half built roads, only god knows. I believe its a feat in itself and if properly trained these drivers can be damn good race car drivers.

2) And Conductors

Never waive a bus to stop if you are not standing exactly at the stop. Because the bus will never stop and you will become topic of discussion inside the bus for next half an hour. The discussion starts when conductor will hurl two abuses at you for not knowing the rules. But the good part is that you are not on the bus.

3) People and their accent

An accent which is known for its roughness but believe me these people are really kind at heart. They will do anything to make u feel comfortable except speaking politely.

4) Asking Questions

Never ask anybody questions and if it becomes absolutely essential to ask something then never ever expect a direct answer.

5) Your name

Well in Haryana, you will never be called by your name. Your name in Haryana will be "your father's name followed by ka". Well overtime you will get used to it, as your father's name is still ur "Grandpa's ka".

6) Dogs on street

Till a few years back, one could not dare to wear a jeans and go to a village because dogs would find you alien and chase you till end of village after which you are in boundary of another village with dogs waiting there too!. But last heard, dogs have started realizing the fashion trends.

Many more things about Haryana, come to my mind every now and then although I have been in Delhi since I was seven......Well nobody is from Delhi, Right!!!!!

A New World Order....

Nature Neuroscience's January issue carried a research article where some scientist at prestigious University of California have shown that humans do have a very strong sense of smell like canines, its just lack of practice which makes them inferior to our faithful friend the dogs. But here's how,with this discovery, the future may look:

1)Delhi Police Bomb detection squad's sniffer unit may have recruitment drives where humans and dogs compete against each other. Not to forget a special quota for humans passed by parliament and a pending case against the bill filed by Maneka Gandhi.

2) Advertisement in Times of India:

100% guarantee of improved sense of sniffing or money back. Special classes for DPBDS (Delhi Police Bomb Detection Squad) recruitment exam. Contact: Gaurav Singh Talwar: 9143212233

3) News in morning daily:

Eve teasers using improved sense of smell to track girls to their homes......

4) Cases in Court:

Woman sniffer in Delhi Police files sexual harrasment complaint against Danny the Dog, a fellow sniffer in department.

5) Reduction in number of children running away from home as their parents can track them back.

Walls need to fall

Walls...........
biased to some undefined definitions
scaffolded by unreasonable reasons

Based on some thoughtless musings
bolstered by wrong understandings

Plastered by lack of courage to talk
absent willingness of a together walk

Doubts filled the crevices if any
Suspicions coated those layers many

We,enjoyed there very existence
contributing to their persistence

Somebody aimed, somebody not
but wall never had the shot

Shaken sometimes, never broken
Walls heal, if debris away not taken

Walls thick or thin, big or small
old or new, need to fall.....
Need to fall.....

I Still Remember.........

As if it was yesterday

When we all bunked class

And everybody’s phone rang

The angry voice roared

And somebody said, ‘Uncle!!’.

As if it was yesterday

When in middle of serious class

dean tucked his shirt in

remembered till now as greatest sin.

And somebody said, “What’s this?!”

As if it was yesterday

When we woke up early

to line up in front of library

those pushes, those shovels

just for books we never read.

As if it was yesterday

When we all fought; on reasons

Petty enough but never sought.

We stopped talking, to talk later

Books again being the baiter.

As if it was yesterday

When we went to functions

Those jokes, those extended laughs

Those incarnated hero’s, those disputes

And that train ride from Ghaziabad.

As if it was yesterday

When we went to McDonalds

Those live romantic movies

Eliciting comments and reviews from we,

Heartless souls, digging into their burgers.

As if it was yesterday

When we went to Shimla

That comedy of errors

Those beautiful sceneries by nature

That ugly bus ride and fuming project guides.

As if it was yesterday

When we celebrated together

Those plannings on table

Those long dance parties

Those freshers and lovely farewells.

As if it was yesterday

When we cried together

You my be a boy or a girl,

But you cried for those times

Ol’ times which we spent together.

I still remember..

As if it was yesterday